Afraid of disappearing, I desperately desired an encounter to fill me. I searched shallow places and got some bits and pieces. Then a presence befell on me. He said his name was Love. He allured me with flashy notions, controlled my heartbeats, and demanded my attention. I've heard his name uttered before by other people. They said I needed him in my life.
I lost control of myself and became what Love said he needed me to be. I did so much to make my Love happy. I rearranged and adapted because I was afraid that Love would leave. Love was quintessential. He told me so.
A half-decade later, I felt emptier than before. Love ignored me and no longer shined his light on me. When I cried, he didn't comfort me. He grew fat and apathetic and laughed at my breakdown.
I decided to expose his lies and capture his essence in a mirror. What reflected back was Deception. He wasn't Love but he distracted me enough to have me believe it. I cried in distress and the Past found me. It was filled with familiar faces and voices. They engulfed me and showed me that Love was still out there. Deception needed to leave me and I let him go.
Love will come and I will know him now. He will be patient and selfless. He will defend me and carry me through dark times. He will let me shine and encourage me. He will listen and comfort me. I will feel warmth and bask in his arms. It took Deception to help me realize this. I am no longer blind.
-Marilen J. Sarian
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