I PRETEND

the thorn in my side
just keeps getting bigger
I keep forgiving and even
giving it water to grow
before it was a prickly
momento from a season past
now it sickens me inside
as it pierces my heart
steals the life from me
bleeding as it stabs me again
everyday it makes me cry
it seems to like me that way
I know what must happen
cut it off completely but
afraid I'm not able to
as simple as everyone says
but it's been there so long
that I'm tired of the struggle
I don't know what I need
where I can turn this time
bullied and bewildered
this is the way I know
lost and out of control
I pretend to be sane
I pretend to be fine
I pretend to smile
I pretend to live
I pretend I can
I pretend I am
I pretend I'm free


~ Marilen J. Sarian